Look to the Healer...

The dreary desolation and distruction that surround me mirror how my heart is feeling....

The feelings of being abandoned and alone return in the isolation...

the Fears become stronger...

and I do not want to face them...

I do not want to remember how much it hurt.

I am tired of the scars....

Tired of the painful reminders of having been left so many times before...

Tired of feeling worthless again and again...

Why God? I ask...

Why does it still hurt?

Why am I still afraid of what could happen?

Why cannot I be strong?

Why does it have to matter so very much?

Then, instead of looking around....

Instead of looking within...

I look up....

Up toward the vast sky and the new leaves after a long and barren winter.

I listen in the calm, and find that birds are singing...

it really was not as desolate as it first seemed.

You see, because even in the fear and alone...

He was there.

In the pain...

He was there.

Never once, was I out of His sight, or out of His hand.

He wants to heal your wounds...

to trade His peace for your fear...

Stop looking within, and start looking to Him.

The only purpose of pain is to receive comfort; and the only purpose of receiving comfort is to comfort others. But you cannot receive the comfort, until you acknowledge the pain.

"O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not in vain that morn shall tearless be."

~ O Love that Wilt not let me Go ~

"The day is yours...."

“Are you going to believe what you feel, or what I tell you? Are you going to believe what you see, or what I say is the truth about you? Are you going to dare to believe that I love you as you are, and that I see you as perfect, and you are precious to Me?” -God

The foe before you is unrelenting. It simply will not give up. You have been fighting it for so long, and your strength is about to give out, yet it seems to be as strong as when you started. It is hard, so hard to keep waging the war.

The biggest problem with your foe is this… Your foe is yourself. You have been fighting her for years and you are worn out with the war. Now, when you cannot fight any longer, you stop, you lay down your weapon, and you listen. That is when you hear Him…

“The day is yours.” He says in a quiet voice. “The victory has been won for you. You need not have fought so long; all that you had to do was to accept the triumph.”

God has chosen you to play this role. He has created you for this unique destiny. No one else in history or eternity can or could ever do what He has placed in you to do. But you cannot do what He has for you as long as you are still operating under the bondage of hopelessness in your own inadequacy.

Will you this day, forsake the lies? Forsake the fight that you do not have to be fighting? Once you do, He can show you what He sees. He can show you that you are now perfect, complete and entire, wanting nothing.

The gauntlet has been thrown. The challenge has been read. The victory won! The invitation is open; will you choose to believe that you are already perfect? Will you choose to believe that God has created you as you are and that He adores what He has made?

It's all part of the journey...

"If you have men who will only come if they know there is a good road, I don't want them. I want men who will come if there is no road at all." –David Livingstone

As night falls, darkness surrounds you. You can no longer see where you have been, or where you are going. Fear grips your heart and you begin to panic. The realization of the situation comes to you in one word, lost. You feel completely and utterly lost.

You have to find your way back! You have to get back on the road! Every ounce of instinct that you possess screams at you to find direction, to walk with purpose, to be able to see your destination.

You begin to run, trying to escape the oppressive darkness. Your legs are driven by fear as they stumble on terrain that you cannot see. Tripping on something that you didn’t know was there, you are brought to the ground on your knees. You can’t get up, you can’t keep going. The tears that are streaming down your face drip softly into the dirt.

Forcing yourself to breathe deeply, you try to turn away from looking at the darkness that surrounds you. The only direction that you haven’t looked yet is up. As you lift your eyes to the heavens, the clouds part from in front of the moon as light illuminates the path that was invisible only moments before. Your feet still walk the path that has been laid out before you; it just didn’t come in the form that you were expecting.

Not being able to see the road didn’t make it any less there. The darkness was not something to be avoided, or to be gotten through, it was just part of the journey. You won’t always be able to see the road that your feet tread, but it’s there. It is a road, perhaps not as well trod or as visible at times, but it is always there nonetheless.

Don’t mistake Trust for a lack of direction.

"Not all who wander are lost." - J. R. R. Tolkien

I will...

I will not shrink from what God chooses to put in my path.
I will not retreat, surrender, or run.

I will live outside my comfort zone.

I will smash boxes and shred lies.

I will no longer accept the partial truths, but seek the absolute Truth.

I will seek to see myself as God sees me.
I will not live in fear of the darkness, because I will remember what I have seen in the Light.
I will not waste today, but live it to the fullest, not lamenting the past or fretting about the future.
I will hold nothing back, but give everything that I have for my King.
I will live for an audience of One.
I will recognize that God has created me for an irreplaceable role in His greatest adventure.
I will remember perspective. The fact that it's not just about a war being waged, it's about a Victory being Won.
And when I meet a challenge that looks too deep or too high or too wide, I will not look at it as personal failure. Instead, I will look at it as an opportunity for
Triumphant Victory.