Thursday, January 21, 2010

What fears hold you back?

Today I did something that I have wanted to do for my entire life, well, at least as long as I can remember.

I never have, and when my mother (who was surprised to learn that I had wanted to do this for so long) asked why I never had, this was my response:

“Because I thought it was silly, and that people would think that it was silly and childish.”

Mom: “I never thought that you cared that much for what people thought.”

Oh if only that were true! I do so wish that it were true…

By now you’re probably wondering what earth-shattering thing that I did today. Well, here it is:
I wore a flower in my hair.

No, I’m really serious.

Now before you call up the nice men in the white jackets, just hear me out. The other day, Tuesday morning to be precise, I had my Tuesday date with God. One of the first things that He said was:

“Have you the slightest idea how much that fear (fear of what people will think) holds you back from the very deepest desires of your heart?”


It’s true, oh it’s so true! I can’t deny one word of it. You see, my entire life has been ruled by expectations (real or imagined) that I had to meet. Decisions were decided based on what so-and-so would have thought or said about it. Even something as stupid as a flower! (Which, for the record, is not one of the deepest desires of my heart... I'm just using it as an example.)

Do you know how pathetic it feels to admit that about 20 years of life?

Um, take my word for it.

So to you, knitting a pink flower and pinning it in my hair might be just a tad bit ridiculous, actually, I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. But my point is this, if I’m not going to do something so meaningless based solely on the fact that I think people will think less of me, how on earth could I possibly do something significant if I thought that someone wouldn’t approve?

And so today, I did something that I’ve never done before, and you know what? I loved it!
Seriously, I did! It was so much fun.

Here’s something else God told me the other day:

“Look foolish, Alaina. Face fears, seize opportunities. Don’t run from it, run to it. Forget what you think about yourself. Forget the self-imposed standards of perfection. Forget what others might think about you. Alaina, live life passionately! Not with someone else’s passion, but with the one that I created within your heart.”

Exciting, isn’t it!?

My question for you is this, what is holding you back from being the incredible, passionate, world-changer that God has created you to be?

(And, on the bright side, the odds are you won’t even have to wear a flower in your hair to fulfill it.)

Non Nobis Domine