The feelings of being abandoned and alone return in the isolation...
the Fears become stronger...
and I do not want to face them...
I do not want to remember how much it hurt.
Tired of the painful reminders of having been left so many times before...
Tired of feeling worthless again and again...
Why God? I ask...
Why does it still hurt?
Why am I still afraid of what could happen?
Why cannot I be strong?
Why does it have to matter so very much?
Then, instead of looking around....
Instead of looking within...
I look up....
Up toward the vast sky and the new leaves after a long and barren winter.
I listen in the calm, and find that birds are singing...
it really was not as desolate as it first seemed.
You see, because even in the fear and alone...
He was there.
In the pain...
He was there.
Never once, was I out of His sight, or out of His hand.
He wants to heal your wounds...
to trade His peace for your fear...
Stop looking within, and start looking to Him.
The only purpose of pain is to receive comfort; and the only purpose of receiving comfort is to comfort others. But you cannot receive the comfort, until you acknowledge the pain.
"O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain, and feel the promise is not in vain that morn shall tearless be."
~ O Love that Wilt not let me Go ~
Thank you Alaina. "Stop looking within and start looking to Him." The Lord has being showing that to me as well. I keep forgetting and He keeps having to remind me through different circumstances. I appreciate the thoughts that you wrote and the pictures.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Julie
Oh Alaina.
ReplyDeleteMy soul echos a resounding "yes" as I read your words.
It amazes me how similar our struggles were this last week. It amazes me how God can give such precious and powerful answers. He said the same thing to me.
"Never once, was I out of His sight, or out of His hand."
Yes. Isn't it comforting?
Love you.
Thats really good Lane
ReplyDeleteSo very true, Alaina!
ReplyDeleteLove you much!